


forget

by spacershepards



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 13:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10810074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacershepards/pseuds/spacershepards
Summary: he remembers, and he tries (not) to forget.





	forget

They didn't talk much at first. Never really did – most of the time, they barely saw each other, so time for having conversations was limited. At the beginning, Carolina's resentment about losing her place at number one was enough to stop anyone from really interacting with _her_ at all.

The few times they did talk, it was mainly about how a mission had gone. Nothing substantial, nothing meaningful, conversations you could _easily_ forget. He remembered little bits and pieces, here and there, words that didn't fit together in full sentences. The tone of her voice, sometimes bitter, sometimes softening, was far more memorable than the rest. Something like a song you haven't heard in a while, faint and forgettable until you hear it again.

A handful of times, he'd catch her without her helmet on, blonde hair pulled back into a neat ponytail. She'd almost always be facing away, always looking out the view port at the stars. The one time he did catch her expression, it wasn't what he expected – not pulled together, not bitter or angry or even calm. She looked like she reminiscing. Then, she caught him looking, and her eyebrows scrunched together, her lips pressed in a thin line. “Agent Washington,” she'd said, and looked away.

Her eyes were the strangest shade of blue. Both dark and bright at the same time.

(He's not sure if it's even a real color.)

* * *

After CT left, the gap between the other Freelancers and Tex seemed to get wider... but at the same time, smaller. Someone whispered that they'd caught her working hard in the training room at midnight, the day after CT was declared AWOL, pushing herself. Someone else said they'd heard her arguing with the Director in a hallway, about something vague. That someone had seen her try to talk to Carolina and get brushed off. If those rumors were true, if they weren't... suddenly, Tex seemed almost _human_. Unlike the indefinable, barely there presence she'd been before.

Not quite fully human. But someone with clear emotions.

* * *

And then CT was declared KIA. “She couldn't have recovered from her wounds,” Carolina had said, and then retreated to the training room.

He found Tex in the locker room, staring at the leader board. He hadn't _meant_ to find her – an accident, or a coincidence that they'd both gone to the same place to think, or something similar. Her helmet sat next to her, and her hair fell over her slumped shoulders.

The second she heard him, though, she looked up. For a second, she looked distraught, and he felt sick to his stomach, like he'd stumbled in on a private conversation that he hadn't wanted to hear. And then, she was composed, frowning.

“Do you want something?” The one giveaway – her voice, cracking at the end.

“I... Sorry, I'll leave,” he said, backing up.

She blinked. And then... shook her head. “No need. I'll...” She trailed off, reaching for her helmet. Her fingers barely grazed it. “I'll go.”

He wanted to say something. 'You don't have to,' or 'it's okay, I can leave.' She shouldn't have to be the one to leave – he'd come in here, he'd intruded. At the very least... he _felt_ like he'd intruded, since technically, the locker room _was_ available to anyone. But still, it seemed wrong.

The next time he saw her without her helmet, her hair had been cut short.

* * *

A mission gone bad, with Tex in the lead. South, injured. North, not moving from the medical bay. And Tex, sitting outside of it, staring through the glass. Wash wouldn't have been surprised if her eyes could cut through the window.

“Agent Texas?” he'd asked, moving towards her.

She practically jumped, whipping her head towards him. “ _Don't_.”

“I – sorry,” he said, swallowing and stepping backwards. “I just wanted to make sure...”

The tips of her fingers brushed the glass, and she turned her head back towards the twins. North, half asleep in a chair, and South, unconscious. She probably thought it was her fault. She probably thought that it should be her in there, instead of South.

He wondered if anyone would've sat by her side if that were the case. Waiting for her to wake up.

* * *

He was up next for an AI implant.

Tex brushed past him on his way to the infirmary. She stopped for a second, looking at him, and then turned away and continued walking. There was something odd about watching her go, like she's done it a million times, like he'd seen her leave before.

“Agent Washington? Come on in.”

It doesn't go well, and they tell him later that he attacked the medics in charge. That he kept screaming.

* * *

The second his eyes snapped closed, he heard her voice. _Allison Allison Allison_.

Talking, laughing, leaning over him with her bright eyes, pressing a kiss to his lips, her fingers brushing against his cheek. Dressed in all white, no veil. Screaming, yelling, breaking down in tears, clutching something to her chest. _Are you sure?_ he asks, and she nods, and then she's holding a bundle of green.

_Allison!_

He forced himself to sit up, and then crashed back down, falling.

* * *

She smelled like butterscotch and vanilla.

Her hair looked best in a ponytail.

Her favorite color was black.

The last time he ever sees her, her armor is like ash against the snow.

* * *

He spends the rest of his life trying to forget that.


End file.
